Successful couples are savvy. They read books, attend seminars, browse web articles and observe other successful couples. However, successful couples will tell you that they also learn by experience – trial and error.
Today at N’wamitwa Times, we’ve featured Mr and Mrs Nkuna from Joppie Village. They have shared with us the principles of success they have learned and observed from many couples who inspire them.
1. Happiness is not the most important thing. Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness will come and go. Successful couples learn to intentionally do things that will bring happiness back when life pulls it away.
2. Couples discover value in just showing up. When things get tough and couples don’t know what to do, they need to hang in there and be there for their spouse. Time has a way of helping couples work things out by providing opportunities to reduce stress and overcome challenges.
3. If you do what you always do, you will get the same results. Wise couples have learned that you have to approach problems differently to get different results. Often, minor changes in approach, attitude and actions make the biggest difference in marriage.
4. Your attitude does matter. Changing behavior is important, but so is changing attitude. Bad attitudes often drive bad feelings and actions.
5. Change your mind, change your marriage. How couples think and what they believe about their spouse affects how they perceive the other. What they expect and how they treat their spouse matters greatly.
6. The grass is greenest where you water it. Successful couples have learned to resist the grass is greener myth – i.e., someone else will make me happy. They have learned to put their energy into making themselves and their marriage better.
7. You can change your marriage by changing yourself. Veteran couples have learned that trying to change their spouse is like trying to push a rope – almost impossible. Often, the only person we can change in our marriage is ourselves.
8. Love is a herb, not just a feeling. Everyday life wears away the “feel good side of marriage.” Feelings, like happiness, will fluctuate. But, real love is based on a couple’s vows of commitment. “For better or for worse” – when it feels good and when it doesn’t.
9. Marriage is often about fighting the battle between your ears. Successful couples have learned to resist holding grudges and bringing up the past. They remember that they married an imperfect person – and so did their spouse.
10. A crisis doesn’t mean the marriage is over. Crisis are like storms: loud, scary and dangerous. But to get through a storm, you have to keep driving. A crisis can be a new beginning. It’s out of pain that great people and marriages are produced.
Below is some of the beautiful moments the couple enjoyed while being blessed by Apostle M Nukeri of PowerLife Church Of Christ (PLCC) on the 26th December 2020.